Monday, April 28, 2008

Sheer Exhaustion

I am afraid that I had not counted on how physically draining this process would be to support my mother through finding a new equilibrium. I am not sure if this is due to how emotionally difficult the whole thing is or if it is due to not sleeping enough. Or the fact that life was busy before I added in a time-consuming daily piece (phone calls and being there physically to walk her through certain rountines). I continue to believe that I will not have to do the walking her through daily routines piece forever - I think it will begin to click into place for her. But the question remains, will it click into place quickly enough.

I am distrustful of putting aides in to help her re-learn it, because I think they will opt to tell her what to do (it's easier and faster) than making her think about it. But all that does is require their presence on an on-going basis. And that won't work, for many reasons. Firstly, the longer that goes on the more brain matter she loses and the harder it becomes for her to fight her way back to an optimal level of functioning. Secondly, it is expensive, and although many people have offered to send money to help, the amount of money it would require to continue would be ridiculous. Waste of money - because it is not time-limited, it is indefinite with no end in sight, the only out down that path is when she moves into assisted living.

So, since I see small progress each day, I will continue down this path.

Marji

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